How to Make a Star Jar with Your Kids
My son came home from school one day and announced he had a "star jar" at home. News to me. But he explained the concept, and said he wanted to make one of his own. We made our own version that afternoon, and it turned out to be super easy and a good way to help around the house. Win, win.
Here's how we did it, and how you can make your own in about 30 minutes.
What Is a Star Jar?
A star jar is a simple reward system. You and your kids brainstorm a list of positive actions, write each one on a paper star, and collect them in a jar (or a paper pouch, or whatever container you want). Every time your kid does one of the things on a star, they drop that star in the jar. Once the jar is full, the whole family does a fun activity together.
That's it. No charts, no apps, no complicated point systems. Just stars and a jar.
What You Need
Construction paper or cardstock (we used yellow, but pick whatever your kid gravitates toward)
Kid-safe scissors
Markers, crayons, or pens
A jar, cup, or small container (OR just make one out of paper like we did)
Optional: stickers, glitter, washi tape for decorating
Time Estimate
About 30 minutes from start to finish. The brainstorming part took the longest and turned into its own conversation, which was actually the best part.
Step 1: Make Your Stars
Cut out star shapes from construction paper or cardstock. You don't need a template for this. Freehand works great, and kids don’t care about a little imperfection.
If your kids are old enough to use scissors, let them cut. My son did all of his, and some of them looked more like blobs than stars. I have my favorite child-safe scissors linked in the “what you need” list.
Tip: Cardstock holds up better than construction paper if your stars are going to get handled a lot. But construction paper is totally fine for a first round. We like to make new ones anyway once we start a new jar.
Step 2: Make (or Grab) Your Jar
You have two options here:
Option A: Use a real jar. A mason jar, a clear cup, a small vase, whatever you have. This is the easier route and your kid gets the satisfaction of watching the stars pile up.
Option B: Make one out of paper. My son cut out a “jar” from paper (his was more of a pouch, but he was proud of it and it worked). You can fold and tape it into a little pocket that hangs on the fridge or sits on the counter. If your kid wants to decorate it, let them go wild.
Either way works. Don't overthink the container.
Step 3: Brainstorm the Stars
This is the part that surprised me. Sit down with your kid and come up with the list of things that go on the stars together. When your kid helps choose the actions, they're way more bought in. He even made a few he wants mom and dad to do (like cook them dinner), which I thought was sweet considering we do that every day.
Here are some of the ones we came up with:
Share a toy with your sibling without being asked
Put your dishes in the sink after a meal
Let someone else pick the activity
Let mom and dad finish their coffee in the morning (this one was my contribution, obviously)
Help set the table
Say something kind to someone in the family
Feed your fish without being reminded
Read a book on your own
Try a new food without complaining
Help a sibling when they're upset
Write one action per star. If you have a younger kid who can't read yet, draw a little picture on each star or use stickers as reminders. Or in our case, have their bigger sibling read the stars to them.
Tip: Keep the actions realistic. "Clean your entire room" is going to sit in the pile forever. "Put your shoes away when you come inside" is something they can actually do every day.
Step 4: Fill the Jar
Here's how it works day to day: when your child does one of the things on a star, they get to put that star in the jar. You can either let them pick any matching star, or pull one at random, whatever feels right for your family. Mine treats it like a mission so I have a feeling we will be going bowling very soon.
Tip: Don't stress about tracking every single moment. If your child comes to you and says, "I shared with my sister, can I put a star in?" that counts. The point is the awareness, not perfect monitoring.
Step 5: Pick the Reward
Before you start filling the jar, decide together what the reward will be when it's full. We went with a family activity, which felt right because it keeps the reward about time together rather than stuff.
Some ideas we considered:
Family bowling night
A family picnic at a park you haven't been to before
Movie night with all the snacks
A trip to the pool or splash pad
Let the kids plan the entire dinner menu
A backyard campout
Family bike ride to get ice cream
We ended up choosing between bowling and a family picnic, and we'll probably do both eventually. The reward doesn't have to be expensive or elaborate. It just has to feel special.
Pro Tips
Start with fewer stars (10 to 12) so the jar fills up faster and your kid gets that first win quickly. You can always add more for the next round.
Let your kid decorate the jar and the stars. The more ownership they feel, the more into it they'll be.
When the jar is full and you do the activity, make it a big deal. Talk about all the things they did to earn it.
Refill and restart. Once you do the reward, brainstorm a new batch of stars. You can keep some favorites and swap in new ones.
This works for siblings too. You can do one shared jar (everyone contributes) or individual jars, depending on your family dynamic.
The Verdict
This is one of those projects that worked way better than I expected it to. The setup is genuinely easy, the materials cost next to nothing (or are already in your craft drawer), and the brainstorming conversation with my kids was really fun and a good way to easily talk to them about kind things we can be doing in our house.
Is it a perfect behavior system? No. Some days the stars get ignored. But more often than not, my kids look at the jar, remember it exists, and do something kind just because they want to add a star.
Looking for more screen-free activities your kids will actually want to do? Check out our printable activity packs for travel, rainy days, and everyday fun.
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